This morning I woke up, got out of bed, made the bed, put on some clothes and went on about my usual morning routine… Not expecting anything to be different from any other morning. Now, this routine usually consists of your typical morning grooming, checking on my two dogs, making sure they are fed, putting on a pot of coffee and then taking them out to go potty. Once that is done, I do a 30-minute workout, shower and then have a healthy breakfast. You see, I am on a goal to take better care of myself by eating better and exercising daily. This is pretty much my routine every morning before I go to work; however, this morning proved to be a bit different…
The difference happened after I took my shower… Upon stepping out the shower I was suddenly flooded with grief. I was completely taken aback by it, and with it came a flood of memories accompanied with a fresh onslaught of tears. I then realized that I never properly grieved the loss of not one but both of my parents. I remember trying to be strong for everyone around me hence stagnating my own grieving process and now here we are six years later after losing my father and 3 following the loss of my mother, I am reminded that I must release them, by releasing the grief I have been holding in for all this time. I must allow myself to truly exhale… It’s ok to be strong for everyone else, but sometimes you must take care of yourself as well.
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort, Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
1 Corinthians 1:3-4
I believe God was in His still quiet way was giving me permission to feel, for in order to grieve you must allow yourself to feel. And in order to heal, you must allow yourself to grieve. It doesn’t really matter how others perceive you, it only matters that you get better. “I love He that first Loved me, for His love is love everlasting…” (FD). This to me was God hugging me and telling me that He was with me, He never left me, nor has He ever forsaken me. He loves me just as I am, in all my imperfections, right where I was in that moment. He loved me enough to come and see about me. Little ole me. And He being my creator, knowing the innermost parts of; knowing my rising and my laying down, He knew that I would not want an audience, just an intimate moment shared with the Father and me.
The lesson I learned today, is take a moment Strong One, and be strong for yourself as well. Take the time to face the things that may seem too hard to face alone, know that you are truly never alone. The great Comforter is there waiting for you to lean on Him in your time of weakness, rest assured that He will indeed make you strong. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalms 147:3). So beloved, remember, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Know this today, whatever heartache you are going through, God who is true to His living Word, will come and comfort you… Yes, little ole you…
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. I am become a fool in glorying; ye have compelled me: for I ought to have been commended of you: for in nothing am I behind the very chiefest apostles, though I be nothing.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11