Some pains are just too much to bear…
So, I tucked them away in a place called there.
Only allowing them to surface when the pressure can no longer be restrained,
Reaching the point of shedding tears in vain…
Tucked away in a place that is deep, yet not deep enough…
This is the pain of loss.
The loss that never returns…
I am left with memories that do last a lifetime,
Even if it’s only in my lifetime.
I miss you…
And the sheer acknowledgement of that alone,
Is honestly too much to bear!
I fancied myself being strong,
But not when it came to losing you…
I will never lay my head upon the lap of my mother again,
Yes, it is simply too much to bear.
So, I tuck you away again…
To that place that is so deep within…
Just not deep enough…
And I say see you later, for goodbye is too final…
Until we meet again…
I love you.
~ Felisha DeJean
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
I am reminded of times in my life when I was afraid in certain situations and some of those times I almost allowed that fear to hinder me into missing my blessings. Fear is an emotion that I am not fond of and it is most unwelcomed in my life, however it will still try to find a way to sneak in unawares. But Christ Jesus left us a precious gift called the Holy Ghost, that gives us peace and comfort when trouble comes so that we do not have to be afraid. It is so important for us to remind ourselves to the seek God for peace that only He can give us; it is His peace that cancels out all doubt and fear.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
This is a beautiful reminder of God’s love for us… He is our protector, He is our comforter…We do not have to fear evil or even death. When we remember God’s word, we know that no matter what we are going through, He is right there with us. While we are walking through our darkest hours, He is walking with us. We are strengthened by the power of His might, and He has even given us a shield of protection. No matter what it looks like, we must remember He has equipped us with all we need to get thought any circumstance without any fear.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
So, when we are faced with fear, we must push pass it by remembering God’s word and praying His word. While we are praying it, we must believe it…Faith as a grain of a mustard seed. Fear is one of the worse kinds of bondage. It does not want you to thrive, it wants you to be held captive within you mind, when God wants us free. We must exercise the power we were freely given through the Holy Ghost to maintain a sound mind, knowing full well that fear is not from God. We have the tools to defeat fear; all we must do is use them.
Lord I pray for anyone who may be battling the spirit of fear; whether it is in the form of starting a new job, facing health issues or whatever form it may come in…I pray against every spirit of fear and bind it in the name of Jesus and I loose power, love and a sound mind over every individual that is being attacked. I pray for the liberty of Christ Jesus to be released in the lives of all His children right now…Let us all remember to cast all our cares upon him; for he does indeed care for us; in Jesus name I pray, amen.
I think of you often and smile through the tears. You taught me so much…I watched you sow compassion and be charitable to those who would need help. You forgave those who weren’t always kind to you as you always welcomed them back with open arms. You stood strong in faith as a good soldier amid one of your greatest battles; and tried to comfort me while you were crossing over into everlasting. You were everything I needed in a Father… I praise God for the gift I had in you… I miss you but carry with me an infinity of memories. I love you eternally…
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
There is a visible pain, the one where you see the evidence of a wound or even by the appearance of tears…It may be a frown on one’s face from the stress of it all or even physical effects such as clasping one’s head from a headache or grabbing one’s chest. There are many tell, tell signs of this physical pain that many of us experience from time to time and most are easily treated; however, there is another type of pain that is hidden. There is no indication of it for it is hidden in a place where no human eye can see… This pain is the one that brings with it all sorts of other problems with it, such as anxiety or depression. The pain that many feel ashamed to talk about, so they feel as though they are left with the burden to bare it all along…
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. (1 Peter 5:7-9)
This is where the enemy comes in to play…He doesn’t want us to know that we are not alone. He doesn’t want us to know that we have a comforter that will take all that pain away, heal our broken hearts and desires to heal every wound. He does what he does best, seeking whom he may devour; he wants to kill what’s yours, steal what’s yours and destroy you in the process. Therefore, it is so vitally important for us to not just know of God, but to have an intimate relationship with Him. He is our comforter; He is our burden barer, and He will heal every wound if/when we surrender it all unto Him. Jesus is the burden bearer, He is our comforter…He is the way maker and peace orchestrator…He will pour out His oil of joy over you and fill your cup till it overflows. What a mighty, loving God we serve…
I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings and will not be ashamed. (Psalms 119:46)
I can honestly say I know the struggle, I know this pain and I knew the shame of not wanting talk about it and wanting to keep it hidden. This is my testimony: In the course of three years I lost both my parents; after losing my father, my siblings and I never stopped to grieve, you see we were caring for our mother who suffered a stroke while we were losing our dad to cancer. So, three years after we lost our dad our dear mother went home to be with the Lord as well…Here I was dealing with the loss of both my parents. You know they are no longer suffering, you know they were filled with the Holy Spirit and are with Him, but the pain… The pain made you want to somehow crawl within yourself and hide from the world. Somehow you managed to be strong for everyone else, somehow you managed to put on a mask of a smile, but on the inside, you were just existing…I was afraid to feel, for fear of the grief consuming me, but this was the trick of the enemy, me not feeling and that was the great deception called depression…Thank God, for His Holy Spirit, it became warfare; learning truly faith without works is dead. I chose to no longer just exist; I chose to survive.
I had to make myself get up, I prayed, and I prayed and then I prayed some more…He was always there, all I had to do was truly acknowledge Him and cast my cares upon Him. I couldn’t break free on my own as I was trying to do, I had to acknowledge Jesus, and ask Him to take that burden from me. I had to remember that “God did not give me the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7). I had to allow myself to feel and to grieve… I remember not really being able to explain what I was really feeling to my husband, I just knew that I was hurting, and I remember that I would never want anyone to suffer that kind of pain. Through much perseverance, and by the power of His might, today I am stronger, and He is restoring my joy… and I’m trusting Him with it all…but I am doing my part as well. I’m praying, reading His word, and I’m walking in the ministry He has place in my hands (remember faith without works is dead). I love Him, and I trust Him with my life, He is my peace, He is my protector, He is my Everything… I give Him glory, honor and praise! Glory in the highest to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Keep believing…
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the Lord; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.
A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
I believe today many of us are often deceived concerning the subject called gossip. Whether it’s self-denial or just being in spiritual bondage that has us blinded by our actions, we often find ourselves partaking in conversations that are not pleasing to God. Most of us our conversations seem very innocent and we even say it’s out of concern for the person we may be talking about; but we still must be careful when the concern starts to reveal something that we supposed to keep in confidence. The scripture above in Proverbs 11:13 says that a faithful spirit conceals the matter; meaning we do not repeat it to anyone else. We should go to God in prayer and leave it there.
What is a talebearer you ask? A talebearer is a person who spreads gossip and secrets which may cause trouble or harm. We’ve all heard the saying, “she/he can’t hold water” at some point in our life’s, right? Yes, well that would be a gossip! Now let us look at this a little closer…So not only does the gossip tell secrets, they often add to it. Why not make it sound even more interesting when trying to appear relevant. Relevant to who…? We say we know better, yet we continue in sin. The word of God say’s “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound, God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” (Romans 6:1-2). When we know better, we should do better!
A faithful spirit will honor God in all things. We will not spend idle time on the phone gossiping about someone else business. We will not share with others of what was spoken to us in confidence. We honor God and we honor all his children, whether we believe them to be or not. “Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm,” (1Chronicles 16:22; Psalm 105:15) is what the Word of God tells us…We are to study and show ourselves approved to God, (2 Timothy 2:15) and how we do that is by obeying His Word. Knowing the scripture simply isn’t enough, we must live by it! God forbid we should speak something unjust about one of His beloved; or even entertain someone else who is speaking about His to later find out the error of our ways.
We must examine our ways and what we allow ourselves to partake in. 2 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” Notice how it ends with a question mark? Are you assessing your actions? So often we allow the enemy to creep in and have us examining everyone/everything yourself except ourselves. I believe this is one of the things that causes a talebearer/gossip to thrive. This is reason enough to show us that we really need to work on ourselves more and worry about other’s less, except to pray for them. This is how the enemy’s deceptive plots works on many of us, we become so consumed in what someone else is doing, that we are no longer doing what we are supposed to be doing. We have allowed that old gossiping spirit to throw us completely off course and right into the enemy’s hands. Break free of his hold and repent and tell the enemy no more…
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified. But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
1 Peter 4:12-16
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
I believe this scripture is very clear. Yes, we are to obey those who have rule over us, but what if those that have rule over us are not living truth. The word of God says to turn away from those who have a form of godliness but denies the power thereof. (2 Timothy 3:5). If we are under leadership that is compromising the Word of God, is it time to start praying specifically by asking Him if it is time to shake the dust off your feet?
As a true servant, it is our responsibility to exhort and not just tear down. We are to tear down what is unholy and then to build and plant based on biblical principles. Today we often see those that are trying to live holy getting tore down while the unholy are not being exhorted. This is showing respect of persons. The Word of God tells us that God is no respect of persons; but we still choose to make ourselves vulnerable because we are choosing to be people pleasers instead of God-pleasers. We often mishandle our ministries by oppressing the righteous so that we can appeal to the masses. How can we build and plant if we haven’t uprooted that which is tainted? Good and evil cannot dwell together!
Where is the faith? When are we going to start trusting God and His Word. We study It and then we teach and preach It, yet are we truly living it? And as for the layman, when are you going to start putting your trust in God, and not man. John 14:6 plainly says, that He is the way, the truth, and the life, and that no man, no matter who you are cannot come unto God unless they go through Him (Jesus). So many are allowing themselves to be deceived today. Many leaders are afraid to do what is upright for the sake of pleasing man, and layman are depending solely on the leaders instead of God. The Word tells us to study and show ourselves approved, as well as try the spirit by the spirit.
Let us remember, everyone we meet isn’t always God-appointed. There are many entities out there that are self-appointed and leading the sheep astray. Before I close, I exhort you all to study the Word of God so that you will know if what you are witnessing is truly of God. I exhort you all to know the voice of God; we can only know his voice by spending time with Him. Seek greater intimacy with him… John 10:27, says “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” Don’t put all your trust in man…Depend on Jesus, He will never lead us astray. He is the way, truth and the life…amen.
I have come to realize that people can dislike you for no reason other than that is just who they are. I have also come to realize that that is their problem and not mine. I refuse to compromise who God has created me to be to satisfy mans perception of me.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. (Psalms 139:14).
You see, I have read in one of the greatest books even written that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He makes no mistake, but we must know who we are and what we were called and chosen to do. Before we were even in our mother’s belly he ordained us in our purpose, it is us who decides to step outside His will, hence His grace. People will be people. Some are sent to make us stronger, and some are sent to hinder us. It’s up to us how we handle it. Will it make you stronger or will you compromise?
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10).
The key to it is knowing who the sender is. Who is sending what your way? We must discern in the spirit? It is also crucial to remember that God will allow some things to come that is not of Him, so no matter the adversity; STAND! Beloved, know that your Father is always a present help and that He is fighting for you. I firmly believe that if He allowed it to come our way, it is either to make us stronger or take us to another level of faith. Trust Him no matter what it feels like or what it looks like and most importantly do not compromise who He has said you are.
The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. (Exodus 14:14).
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)
We live in a world when many have become lovers of themselves. We live in a time where man has become so consumed with self, that many are falling away from the gospel. I consider Jesus and all that He has sacrificed for us all, I think about the strips He received upon His back, I think of the pain He must have felt as nails were driven through His hands and feet, and I cringe at the mere thought of a crown of thorns being forced into his scalp, and having the taste of his blood mingled with sweat dripping down His face. And then I look at the behavior of man today. Man has become so self-centered, for their desires far surpass the needs of their neighbor, their friend, their families… They far surpass the will of God! The cries of those who are hurting are being silenced. Many hear, but don’t hear, for they refuse to take heed. For many are too consumed with self! Christ gave His life for us all, can we not give just a little of ourselves for our fellow man?
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God (2 Timothy 3:3-4)
Now let’s examine this for a moment, for there are two sides to this. One side of it we’ll see a need and while able to help, refuse to do so. The other side of this is the person who constantly pulls on another without ever really attempting to stand on their own. This is when we come to see manipulation into play. The person who eagerly wants to help, becomes a crutch for the manipulator hence the helper becomes an enabler. In this you are no longer helping the individual, but instead hurting them. This person has become selfish, because they start to depend on you so much where you may not only become financially destitute, but you are physically, emotionally and spiritually drained as well. Many relationships are destroyed because of this type of behavior because you can find yourself becoming bitter towards someone, and we know bitterness is not a God feeling.
And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage: (Galatians 2:4).
But as for the one who is able to help someone who is really in need, and you refuse them, it is the same as denying Christ. Matthew 25:42-46 says, “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.” So we must do for people if we are able to, no matter what. If a person is being selfish, and allowing a manipulating spirit to use them, do your part and then move on, having faith that God will do the rest. But when you choose to be an aide to another, do it as a willing vessel, and not grudgingly. God is the judge, He knows all and sees all, including your heart. But if you are being manipulated, know still, God still sees that your heart is good, and the individual that is being manipulated by being a manipulator will be the one who will have to answer for their error, and not you.
Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard. (Proverbs 21:13).
Lord give us greater understanding of your Word…Teach us to walk in humility and to truly be helpers one to another. Lord I ask that you also give us greater discernment to know and understand the difference in being a helper to our brothers and sisters and becoming an enabler. Lord we thank you for your Word that leads us and guide us into pathways of righteousness, in Jesus name Amen!
2 Timothy 3:5 states, “having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” This scripture is first telling us, that there are some that basically appear to be holy, yet they are not. They do everything that is expected of them before men, yet still deny the real power of the Holy Spirit. Instead of exalting the Holy Spirit, they instead quench it. Then the scripture goes on to say to turn away from them…Have no part of fellowship with them. I believe this scriptures personifies the religious spirit. A show before man to be righteous, and to uphold the commands of the Lord, yet denying everything that is of Him.
A persons true character is not what we do before men…but what we do in secret. How are we really living when there is no audience? Are we spending quality time with God, or are we putting everything else before Him? Have we taken on idols in secret, yet only in the open we worship and praise the one true living God? This behavior is likened to the scribes and Pharisees of whom is spoken of in Matthew 23:1-7“Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, Saying The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat: All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not. For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.”
A religious spirit quenches the Holy Spirit. It does not want the oracles of God to be spoken… It will do everything it can to silence the true prophets of God. It’s agenda is to assist in the falling away (Thessalonians 2:3), and it feeds itching ears (2 Timothy 4:3), it is bias and shows respect of persons. It fights against everything that represents righteousness and holiness. These are some of the things which also point to the fact that we are living in the end times, for many of this we do see. And please do not be deceived by this spirit, for it is also written that even the very elect will be deceived (Matthew 24:24). So how do we guard ourselves against falling victim to this spirit, that seems godly, yet denies the power of Jehovah. By prayer and supplication, by putting on the armor of God daily..by studying and showing ourselves approved to God, by being able to rightly divide His Word; this is how we guard ourselves against this spirit…Be on guard always…
Lord I pray that your children be not deceived in this hour by a religious spirit. Let us remain in prayer always, and put on the armor of God, wherewith no weapons formed against us shall prosper and that we shall live to declare thy name unto our brothers and sisters in Jesus name, amen.